Wonder Twins Activate

Hi there. It's been a while, but even in the hurricane that is grief blog photos were taken.  I debated whether or not I wanted to keep going with what is, after all, a pretty frivolous project. In the end the daily photo taking has become enough of a habit to derive some comfort from. It has also been a personal reminder that no matter how much it feels like the rest of the world should stop when yours does, the Earth keeps spinning and life does indeed go on.

Without further ado, here are the last three weeks worth of outfits.

February 21

Top: Ann Taylor - Thrift 201?  Pants: Gloria Vandberbilt - Last seen here (3rd outfit) Hat: Target - Retail 2016

The Stuff

Earrings: Mom (?)  Necklace: Gift Bracelet - Mom

February 22

Sweater: Rafaela - Last worn here (1st outfit) Jeans: Chicos - Last seen here (1st outfit)

The Stuff

Earrings: Mom  Necklace: Aunt Rosetta  Bracelets: Gifts & Mom

February 23 - With random beam of sunlight
  

Sweater: Talbots - Last seen here (1st outfit) Jeans: Levis - Last seen here (5th outfit)

The Stuff

Earrings: Aunt Rosetta  Necklaces: Ankh - Mom  Diamond - Mom & Aunt Rosetts Bracelets: Chicos & Mom

February 24

Sweater: Croft & Barrow - Thrifted 2015 (?)  Jeans: Levis - Last seen here (7th outfit)

The Stuff

Necklace, Earrings and Bracelet - Mom

March 2

Sweater: GAP - Last seen here (2nd outfit. first blog post!) Skirt: Odille - Last seen here (3rd outfit)

The Stuff

Earrings: Mom Necklace: Dad Bracelet: Jennifer

March 3 - Ah, the faces
  
Dress: Jonathan Martin - Thrifted here in January  Cardigan: Banana Republic - Last worn here (3rd outfit)

The Stuff

Earrings and Necklace: Antique Store 199(?)  Bracelet: Mom

March 4 - Accidental Wonder Twins
 

Top: Ann Taylor Loft - Thrifted 2015 (?)  Jeans: Chicos - Last seen above

The Stuff

Earrings: Gift Necklace and Bracelet: Mom

March 7 - Two different Mexican Redbud trees as background
  

Dress: I <3 Ronson - Last seen here (4th outfit) Cardigan: August Silk - Last seen with the same dress

The Stuff

Earrings: Gift from Brother Necklace: Online Bracelet: Mom

March 8 -

Top: Saks 5th Ave - Last seen here (1st outfit) Skirt: Casual Corner - Last seen here (1st outfit)

The Stuff

Earrings and Bracelet: Mom Necklace: Gift from the GH

 Red for International Women's Day with some of my amazing colleagues

March 9

Dress: Axcess - Last seen here (5th outfit) Sweater: Indigenous - Thrifted here in 2016

The Stuff

Earrings: Gift from the GH  Necklace: Mom Bracelets: Morocco

March 10
  

Cardigan: Ann Taylor - Thrifted here in January Skirt: MSK - Last seen here (2nd outfit)

The Stuff

Necklace, Earrings and Bracelet: Aunt Rosetta

March 11

Top: Banana Republic - Last seen here (3rd outfit)  Skirt: Xhilaration - Swapped here last month

The Stuff

Earrings: Gift  Necklace: Etsy Bracelet: Mom

As always a giant thank you to BB, Mr DC and the GH.

See you soon!

Best Friends

What does the title "best friend" mean to you?

The three amigas - 1995

 For me it means a variety of people in a variety of ways. I am lucky enough to have multiple best friends, but when I dig down deep there are only a handful of people in my life who I would qualify as a true, lifelong, "best friend". The person that I lost this week was very truly one of my best friends. I met her in the 7th grade. We were loners, nerds and geeks together. She went to a different school in the 8th grade, where she met another of my best friends. In the ninth grade she went to a different high school than I did, but we kept in touch. In the 10th grade she came to my high school. We had fun and we were miserable together, me and her and the third of our trio. And we were, the three of us, in our own little world. We survived high school together, we worked, we went to college, all at different times. And we grew together, as only those friends who meet and bond in adolescence do. We were all bridesmaids in each others weddings. We laughed together and we cried together. We always thought that we would grow old together. Marriage, children, work. These are the adult things that make the friendship of youth so difficult to maintain.

The three of us New Years Eve 1996

Divorce, crisis and death. These are the things that best friends survive together. In the worst and most painful moments of life knowing that someone out there will always have your back, no matter what, is a source of comfort. When I heard the news about her death I had a brief mental image of my life as a wheel, with my connections to others as spokes in that wheel, and the wheel that I pictured was now missing another spoke, throwing it off balance. And that is how I feel. I am off balance.

Two missing spokes in my wheel. Jennifer and my Dad at my wedding

As I was making the phone calls that were horrible yet inevitable I kept thinking that I should call my Dad. My Dad should know that the friend of mine that he loved the most, the one he thought of as another daughter, had died.  But my Dad has been dead for more than two years now. And in my mental wheel their spokes were next to each other and now the hole is that much bigger. And as a result I am that much more off balance.

The three of us at my wedding - 2004

There are so many stories that I tell that involve her; My first attempt to drive a stick shift, push starting that crappy VW Rabbit down Speedway, and my first time in Las Vegas.  One of my favorites is about the time we drove out to the bladed desert that would soon become new housing on the west side of town.  I'm not sure now why we left the house we shared to make that trip but I do know we were in our pajamas.  I remember sitting on top of that crappy little blue car, looking at the stars and talking about who knows what when we heard a noise.  Somehow we became convinced that the noise had come from a pack of javelinas. We were too scared to stay where we were so we got into the car, through the windows because we were afraid of setting foot on the ground. We took off and began driving back towards home when we hit a median.  It was her fault, I don't remember if she was playing with the heater or the radio but the car swerved and boom.  Neither of us were hurt but the car had a flat tire.  No worries she had a spare, but shit the jack was at home for some unknown reason.  So there we were in our pjs, pre-cell phone era stuck with a flat tire.  It was the middle of the night and I had the bright idea to just walk to my moms house which was maybe a mile or so away. We start walking down 22nd in our nightgowns and had gone maybe 100 yards when a big guy in a little sports car offered us a ride.  We accepted, and yes in hindsight that was pretty dumb of us, but it worked out fine and he dropped us off at my moms house.  I didn't have my keys with me, they were at home with the jack, so I went through the backyard to the sliding glass door leading to my moms bedroom and went in saying out loud "don't shoot, I just need to borrow your truck for a while".  We drove the truck home, put on real clothes, grabbed the jack and a roommate and drove back to the car. It was still sitting there somewhat blocking the entrance to a small dirt road. As we set to work changing the tire a cast of bizarre characters appeared, seemingly out of nowhere,  wanting to drive down the dirt road we were blocking.  At this point it was probably 2 in the morning and we couldn't figure out why all these people wanted to drive down that small dirt road.  We never did figure that part out and it later just became another addition to the story of one of the weirdest and most surreal nights I've ever had.

The three of us in Vegas - 2000

The thing about this story is that I know she had a different version of the same events.  But I can't remember now how our versions differed and I can't call her and ask her.  More than 25 years worth of stories, ups and downs, successes and failures, trials and tribulations are now at an end.  The knowledge that we will never share another experience or create another story together is unreal.  I cannot fathom how my life will be without her in it. All I know for sure is that I will miss her for the rest of my life and she took a piece of my heart with her.

Our last Vegas trip together - 2015

Jennifer Lopez 1978-2017